The Confidence Gap at Work: When Capable People Hold Themselves Back

Have you ever known the answer in a meeting but decided not to say it? Or looked at a job opening and thought, “I could probably do this, but maybe I’m not ready yet.” That hesitation is more common than people realize. You can be good at your job and still doubt yourself. You can have the skills for a promotion and still wait for someone to tell you that you are ready.

This is often described as the confidence gap at work. It is the space between what someone can actually do and what they believe they can do. And while it sounds like a personal issue, it can quietly influence who applies for jobs, who asks for promotions, who speaks in meetings and who gets noticed.

The person who speaks first isn’t always the most capable

Confidence is easy to notice. Competence is harder.

In a meeting, the person who speaks quickly and confidently can appear more knowledgeable than someone who takes time to think before answering. In an interview, a polished answer can create a strong impression even when another candidate has more relevant experience.

That does not mean confidence is unimportant. It means we should be careful about treating confidence as proof of ability.

Research has also found that confidence can influence hiring decisions. A 2024 study published in the Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization found that moderate confidence improved hiring chances, while excessive confidence could work against candidates.

The workplace has plenty of examples of this. Someone may be excellent at solving customer problems but uncomfortable presenting their work to senior management. Another person may have strong technical knowledge but hesitate to put themselves forward for a leadership role.

Neither person suddenly became less capable. They simply show their ability differently.

The confidence gap often starts before the interview

One of the clearest examples is the job application itself.

A candidate sees a role asking for five years of experience, several software skills and team management experience. They have four years, most of the required skills and have led projects but never formally managed a team. Instead of applying, they decide they are not qualified enough.

The employer never gets to make that decision.

Research around the gender confidence gap has found similar patterns. SEEK’s research found that women surveyed were more likely than men to hold back from applying when they did not meet every listed skill.

This is worth remembering when reading job descriptions. A job description usually describes the company’s ideal candidate. It does not necessarily mean you need to arrive knowing everything on day one.

If you meet the core requirements and can show that you have learned similar skills before, applying may be more sensible than rejecting yourself.

The employer may say no. But let the employer make that decision.

Sometimes the workplace makes people less confident

There is another side to this conversation that gets missed.

We often tell employees to become more confident without asking what their workplace is doing to encourage confidence.

Think about a junior employee who asks a question and gets laughed at. They may think twice before asking another one. A manager constantly interrupts someone in meetings, and after a while that person stops volunteering ideas. An employee makes one mistake and keeps hearing about it months later.

These experiences leave a mark.

Confidence at work is partly shaped by whether people feel safe enough to contribute, learn and make mistakes. Managers have a role here. Giving someone responsibility, offering useful feedback and making expectations clear can do more for confidence than telling someone to “speak up.”

There is also an interesting idea discussed by Milpark Education: confidence can follow opportunity.

That feels true in everyday work. You rarely feel completely ready for your first presentation, your first management responsibility or your first difficult client conversation. You do it, learn from it and become more comfortable the next time.

Waiting until you feel ready can keep you stuck

Perfectionism often hides behind the confidence gap.

You decide you will apply after completing another course. You will ask for a promotion after handling one more project. You will speak in the meeting once you know the subject perfectly.

There is always another reason to wait.

But most careers do not work that way. Some skills are learned only after you take on the responsibility. You become better at interviews by attending interviews. You become better at presenting by presenting. You become more comfortable leading after you have actually led something.

That does not mean saying yes to every opportunity. It means learning to separate “I don’t have the skill yet” from “I am afraid I won’t be good at it.”

Those are very different problems.

What employers can learn from this

Recruiters and hiring managers have a responsibility here too.

If interviews reward confidence more than evidence, companies can end up hiring the person who interviews best rather than the person who performs best.

Instead of only asking candidates what they are good at, ask what they have actually done. What happened when a project went wrong? How did they handle a difficult customer? What did they learn from a mistake? What would they change if they did it again?

These questions give candidates a chance to demonstrate competence rather than simply perform confidence.

For job seekers, the same principle applies. Don’t exaggerate your experience, but don’t minimize it either. There is a big difference between saying, “I’ve never managed a team,” and “I’ve never formally managed a team, but I have led projects and coordinated people across departments.”

The second answer is not pretending. It is putting your experience into context.

Maybe confidence isn’t the real goal

The goal should not be to become the loudest person in the room.

It should be to have a reasonably accurate view of what you can do, what you still need to learn and what you are willing to try.

The next time you hesitate over a job, a promotion or a new responsibility, ask yourself one question: “Am I actually not ready, or do I simply not feel ready yet?”

Sometimes the answer will be that you need more experience. That’s useful to know.

Other times, you may realise that you have been waiting for a level of certainty that nobody ever really gets.

How many career opportunities do people miss because they are waiting to feel ready?

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